Humpty Dumpty Remix

Welcome to the Kingdom of Thingum! Your name is Humpty Dumpty, and you are a commoner with no prospects. You are also an egg. Thingum is recently at war with the neighboring Kingdom of Nothingum and called all human species to arms. Will you choose to enlist? [[Yes]] [[No]]

You are a hawk, high on patriotism and ready for battle. Unfortunately, the others deem you unfit for duty. You say: [[Okay]] [[Is it because I'm an egg?]]

You consider yourself a staunch dove. Why fight when we can all just be friends? You wander the kingdom for a little before [[sitting]] on a brick wall.

You [[look out]] at the mountains and sea. I love [[my home]], you think.

Disappointed you leave the recruitment office and [[sit->sitting]] alone on a brick wall.

The recruitment officer grows incredibly uncomfortable at your question. You say, "The Anthropomorphic Food, Beverage, and Hardware Equal Rights Law prohibits discrimination against eggs." The officer sighs. You [[enlist]].

Soldiers appear to year left. The are laughing. You realize they are laughing at you. [[say something]] [[not]]

You think about having a little farm out there somewhere. A real comfy place to spend the rest of your days. What better service is there than feeding the kingdom. You feel [[sitting<-happy]] with your decision.

Enlisted in the royal army, you are sent straight to battle despite the fact you've never [[ridden]] a horse before.

You shout, "Hey! What's so funny?" The soldiers ignore you. Agitated you lean a bit to far and have a great [[fall]].

You ignore them. Clearly they have [[sitting<-nothing]] better to do.

You feel yourself shatter into shard. Your yolk spilling onto the cobblestone. [[shout for help]] [[stay quiet]]

Nearby soldiers rush to you. At first upon seeing you, they're amused. But then they see your limp arms and legs, and they scramble to pick up your pieces. Nothing they do helps. They run to the palace and soon, all the king's horses and all the king's men are trying to put you together again. [[They can't]].

You peacefully [[watch]] the Thingum Singsomes fly across the sky.

You live out your life as a mosaic made from the shards of your shell, hanging right above the very wall you dropped from. Betrayed by your ever present need for validation. From then on the children of Thingum have made it a game to point and [[Remix Start<-laugh]].

Their song is beautiful, you think. Just as your eyes begin to [[close]], you hear footsteps coming fast behind you.

You wake up in the royal hospital. The nurse, a banana, tells you that all the king's horses and all the king's men tried to put you together again. You look down at your body. It's [[not there]].

You live out your life as a mosaic made from the shards of your shell. You hang on the stand-alone brick wall, ever-looking out at the beauty of [[Remix Start<-Thingum]].

You have a great fall. [[Shattering->stay quiet]] to pieces but not before taking hordes of Nothingum's army, hours before.